ERIN HALBMAIER

Today is Femme Audio Takeover day! Female audiobook narrators across social media will be posting scenes with strong female characters. I actually submitted two to @emmafayeactor because I couldn’t make up my mind and decided to let her choose.😂

The criteria for submissions: “Ideally, we want to highlight scenes where the femme character is asserting/reclaiming power, embracing themselves as they are, or really tapping into their strength. These moments can be a whisper in broken silence, a well-placed uppercut during a cage match, or anything in between. Much like all of us, our strength and power show up in ways as unique as we are.”

The first scene I selected is from Arrows and Gems, and it is a very Helena moment that falls in the “well-placed uppercut” category. 😁 The other is from Slippers and Thorns.

Reading reviews of Slippers and Thorns is difficult for me, because while the positive reviews are good, the negative ones stick in my mind. They’re hard to brush off, because they aren’t “well, that’s obviously inaccurate” comments like some authors can laugh about on social media (@marymecham_author, anyone?🤣).

They complain that Michael is a jerk, that Ella shouldn’t have to bend over backward for him. That he doesn’t deserve her. That the book has a lot of miscommunication and so much could be solved if they just TALKED to each other.

Well…yeah. That was kind of the point.

But sometimes I forget when someone cites it as the reason they rated the book poorly. Their view of it creeps into mine, and I cringe and want to apologize for my weak FMC who bends under the “emotional abuse”** of her husband instead of finding the strength to walk away.

Maybe when that happens, I should re-read the passage I submitted for the Femme Audio Takeover:

Michael hated her. He had decided that she’d be­trayed him, and now he hated her. He ignored her when­ever he didn’t feel obligated to notice her. He hadn’t ruined her rep­u­ta­tion, but he carelessly flaunted his disregard of her by pa­rad­ing about with another woman.

The pretty dream she had built in her mind when he asked her to marry him was not only tarnished but shat­tered and in ruins at her feet.

It was all over. He didn’t love her anymore.

She could never make him love her again.

What was the use in continuing to try?

Lifting her head wearily, she realized her feet had car­ried her to Michael’s door. He wouldn’t be in the room, of course; he was in a meeting. But she lifted her hand to knock anyway.

The rap of her knuckles was barely a tap that Michael wouldn’t have heard even if he were there. Sagging against the door, she scrunched up her face to hold back the tears. She couldn’t cry in the hallway – even if no one was around but Henry, she couldn’t cry!

Grasping the door handle, she turned it, seeking es­cape in the closest room.

“I know you’re upset,” Henry interrupted, clearing his throat. “But if Prince Michael’s room is mysteriously in sham­bles, I’ll have to confess to seeing you enter if I’m asked. Even if I wouldn’t blame you.” He gave her the ghost of a wink.

Ella smiled wanly at her guard. “Don’t worry, Henry, I’m not going to get you into trouble.”

Slipping through the door, she leaned back against it, finally letting her face crum­ple. Silently sobbing, she covered her face with her hands…and whacked herself in the forehead with some­thing solid.

Surprised, she looked at the package that she had once again forgotten.

“What a waste,” she sighed. “I can’t believe I bothered. What do I do with it now?”

She stared at the package, turning it over in her hands. She’d had such high hopes for it an hour ago.

Love is more than just feelings, dearie, she heard in her mem­ory. Love is an action. Right now, you must choose to love your husband through your actions. The feelings will fol­low.

Ella scoffed. What good would that do if he didn’t care about her?

The best way to win someone’s love is to show them that you love them, the memory responded.

Frowning, she patted the package against her free hand as she looked around the room. A vague idea formed in her mind, but she didn’t want to do it. Her anger and pain insisted that Michael didn’t deserve it.

Break the cycle by choosing to forgive him, the mem­o­ry scolded.

Ella scowled at the nuisance-of-a-voice in her head. “I don’t feel like it,” she pouted.

Love is more than just feelings, dearie, the voice gently admonished. Love is an action.

She needed to have a talk with Edna about the stickiness of her words.

“Fine,” Ella grumped. “I’ll do it.”

The reviewers are right. Michael doesn’t deserve it. But Ella isn’t staying because it’s easy or because it’s all she knows. She isn’t a pushover trying to make him happy.

She’s upset. She knows he doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t want to be nice. She doesn’t want to forgive him. The natural response would be to ignore him back. Leave, even, and look for happiness elsewhere. She’s already fled the castle once in her misery.

But she chooses to take action. She chooses to give up her right to anger and to work toward forgiving him. She chooses not to give in. It’s not based on feelings or helplessness. It’s very intentional.

And that’s what makes her strong.

**Note: A reviewer called it emotional abuse. Since he isn’t trying to control her/doesn’t realize how isolated she is (and feels guilty when he does realize), I don’t consider Michael to be emotionally abusive, just blind in the midst of his own pain. Or at least, such was my intent; I understand if some readers feel differently. Please know that I would never tell someone to stay in an abusive relationship, even if it is “only emotional.”